Twilight Fairytales
by nomorepain
Summary: Little Red Riding hood, but a twilight version. umm, it probably sounds stupid. Jacob the wolf, Edward wood chopper, and Charlie Bella's grandmother. Next is "Cinderbella"
1. Little Red Riding Bella

Little Red Riding Bella

"Are you sure you want to go to Charlie's house today?" asked Renee for the thousandth time.

Bella exclaimed, "I'll be fine, mom, how else will he get these cookies?" Then she picked up her basket of sweets, fastening the bright red hood that she always wore, then danced gaily into the forest.

"La la la" sang Bella. Suddenly she tripped! She looked to see if she had fallen over a root, but it was just her own feet.

Then she heard the soft growling of a wolf as it loped toward her. "I'm Jacob!" he said in a friendly voice. Helping her up from the ground, he asked "Say, where are you going?"

"Thanks!" exclaimed Bella, her face as red as her cape. "Why, to Charlie's house, of course!" Then she continued frolicking through the forest.

When she got to Charlie's house, the door was mysteriously gone. "Charlie must be expecting me," thought Bella. She walked in to find a lump in Charlie's bed.

"Oh no, I hope Charlie's not sick (of having such a stupid daughter)" cried Bella. She ran to go check. He looked a bit strange.

"My, what big eyes you have!" said Bella. "The better to watch you obsessively to make sure you aren't having sex," said the wolf.

"And what a large mouth you have!" exclaimed Bella. "All the better to talk shit at you with," said Jacob, the wolf.

"Oh my!" Said Bella. "What a gigantic cock you have, Charlie!" Jacob grinned maliciously, then said "all the better to rape you with, beautiful Bella!" Then he lunged at her from the bed.

Nearby, Edward Cullen was chopping wood in the forest. He heard a shriek, and, being the noble gentleman that he is, went to see what was the matter.

After running to Charlie's house (He knew the way well from always peeping at Bella), He found Jacob the wolf trying to overpower Bella.

"I must not let him soil her virginity!" Cried Edward nobly, prying Jacob away from Bella and slapping Jacob's cock till it hung limp again. Then he forced Jacob to spit out Charlie.

"Yay!" shouted Bella, removing her hands from her breasts to show how excited she was. Charlie fainted on the floor.

"Thanks for saving my dad!" exclaimed Bella. Then they all lived happily ever after.

The End.


	2. Cinderbella

Once upon a time there was a small girl called Bella who lived with her father Charlie. He got remarried to an evil woman called Victoria. Victoria had two mean and ugly daughters called Jessica and Lauren.

One day, Victoria killed Charlie. Bella was unbearably sad. At the funeral, Bella was weeping over her father's coffin while Victoria laughed cruelly in her face. "Hahahaha stupid Bella, now I dont' have to pretend to be nice to you anymore!"

Sweet Bella considered jumping in the whole after Charlie, but Victoria grabbed her by her ear and pulled her home. From then on Victoria was very cruel to Bella while she treated her own daughters with disgusting worship. Bella did all the chores in the house while Lauren and Jessica got new clothes. When they were bored they didn't let Bella have dinner.

One day they were out walking when they met Mike Newton, the cute stable boy. "Hiiiii Mikeypoo!" said Jessica.

"Oh, hi Jessica. Hey, Bella, I was wondering if you wanted to go on a romantic moonlit walk tonight." said Mike.

"Aww I can't Mike, I have chores to do," said Bella, "But maybe you could go with Jessica," she continued trying to be nice to her stepsister.

"Umm, maybe some other time...Bye Bella." Jessica was so jealous she didn't talk to Bella the whole way back. When they got home Bella whined to her mother, "Bella was flirting with Mike Newton! She is such a whore, she kept pulling her top down."

Victoria knew that Bella would never do that, but she was furious that boys liked Bella more than Jessica.

"That's it Bella!" she screamed. "You have to clean the fireplace. And from now on you're sleeping in the dungeon!" Bella was very upset at the unfairness but knew enough not to protest and took her punishment stoically.

She went off to clean the fireplace, but clumsily fell onto the floor, covering herself with black soot from head to toe. Lauren was watching and laughed at her "hahaha! Cinderbella! Cinderbella! Get it? Cause she's covered in cinders!" from then on, everyone called her Cinderbella.

It was always cold and dark in Bella's dungeon and there were tons of rats. Bella took pity on the hungry rats and gave them parts of her meager dinner. In return, the rats befriended her. She named them Alice, Jasper, and Emmett.

One day a messenger came to the door and announced a grand ball to find a wife for the picky prince of the kingdom who could never find a girl he wanted to be with. All the young maidens in the land were supposed to come.

Bella didn't much care for dancing, but she was never allowed out of her dungeon and she wanted to see the magnificent castle.

Victoria spent the next month making sure that her two daughters got acne cream and went to the treadmill once a week. She bought them expensiove dresses to cover up their ugliness a bit. Bella had to carry the dresses back and forth as they were taken back and forth to the tailor. They had to be taken out more and more. She had to carry the acne medicine from the drugstore and work out on the treadmill with Jessica and Lauren even though she was already skinny so that it would make them feel better.

Bella had no time to prepare herself for the ball because she was so busy with all the errands. The afternoon before the ball she collapsed on her bed, exhausted from all the chores.

"Oh no!" said Alice. "Poor Bella has nothing to wear to the ball!"

"Hey I know!" said Jasper. "We can make her a dress!"

"Great idea!" said Emmett. Then they sketched it out while Cinderbella slept soundly on her bed.

She awoke a few hours later to squeaking next to her ear. "What is it?" asked Bella.

"Look, look!" said Jasper, tugging on her eyelid.

Cinderbella gasped. A beautiful dress stood in the middle of her room. It had a full skirt, a corset and was embroidered with some pearls that belonged to Jessica.

"Thank you so much!" said Bella. "Now I can go to the ball!" She jumped up, hugging her rat friends who were blushing and looking pleased, than put on her dress and did her hair.

"I'm ready to go!" shouted Bella. Her sisters looked up as she descended the staircase looking magnificent. Victoria gasped in awe at how beautiful her stepdaughter could look. This was terrible! Her daughters could have no competition! She turned her gasp into a cough. Then she thought of a plan.

Lauren, overflowing with jealousy, grabbed the pearls on her dress, shrieking and pulling the dress to bits. Jessica took hold of the hem and pulled, shrieking in anger. Victoria's plan was working.

Cinderbella fell to the floor sobbing. Her dreams were crushed. "Hahahaha now you can't go to the ball! Pitiful girl, get off the floor and go wash the floor."

Victoria and her daughters flounced out the door to be met by a horse-drawn carriage, still chuckling to themselves.

"When I marry the prince, you're gonna be cleaning my bathroom," said Lauren to Jessica. Jessica pushed her and she fell to the ground.

Cinderbella ran out the back door in her tattered dress. She fell onto a bench in the garden, still crying.

"It's okay Cinderbelly" Said Alice, climbing onto her lap. Cinderbella ignored her.

Suddenly she heard a *poof* from behind her. She looked up through her tear-stained brown eyes to see an overweight ugly woman in a puffy "dress floating above her head. "Oh my!" Said Cinderbella, "Who are you?"

"I'm your fairy god mother" said Stephanie Meyer. "I'm here to make my-I mean _your_ unrealistic dreams come true. I never got to meet a prince charming because I was too fat and ugly, so I made you to live out my fantasies.

"Oh wow!" said Cinderbella. "Can I really go to the ball?"

"Of course" said Stephanie Meyer, and she waved her wand, singing "bippity boppity boo" suddenly an apple turned into a carriage, the mice turned into horses.

"But I have nothing to wear!" cried Cinderbella, looking sadly at her tattered rags.

"That's no problem," said Stephanie, waving her wand again. Suddenly her rags were turned into a beautiful blue dress that sparkled in the moonlight.

Cinderbella laughed and twirled around in glee, then rode off in her carriage.


End file.
